


The second rule of MI6

by Oblivium



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Bickering, James never brings anything back in one piece, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 02:53:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16031468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oblivium/pseuds/Oblivium
Summary: Q responded with a sigh, because of course 007 bringing something back in one piece was a one-time deal.In which James never brings back anything in one piece.





	The second rule of MI6

"I ought not to think that you brought the equipment back in one piece, do I?" Q hadn't even heard double-oh seven enter the room -how did he even do that anyway- he just [i]knew[/i]. It was as if every woman at q branch –and some men as well- was doing extra effort looking extremely busy. The first time it happened Q had rolled his eyes. By now he was used to it. After all, everybody was in love with the agent. It was the second rule of MI6. Or that’s what Moneypenny told Q right after he got Bond assigned as one of his agents.  
"I brought nothing back." Where other people would apologize Bond just looked bored.  
Q should know by now that he was never getting back anything he gave the agent. And he did, really. Q just liked the stupid little conversations. "That gun was worth more money then you make in a month." Bond just smirked. Why, of all people, did Q had to take a linking in Bond, James [i]Fucking[/i] Bond. "I assume you heard about your new mission."  
"Russia, yes." Bond grimaced. "During winter."  
It took Q all not to smile. He handed him over the black case. His hand lingered a little longer than usual. "I'd really appreciate you'd bring this one back in one piece. I suppose I started liking it during the making progress." With nothing else to say Q shrugged. And turned back to him laptop knowing he would never see him masterpiece again. He could always make a new one. If he wanted to, he could.  
"I'll take care of it."  
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Mister Bond."  
"Never,"  
Q was baffled and by the time he looked up from his laptop Bond was already gone.  
-~-  
Bond returned from his mission without a scratch. Q found the black case on his desk with the gun, without a scratch.  
-~-  
"So you [i]do[/i] do it on purpose." It had only been two days ago since Bond returned from Russia and he was already going for another mission. France this time.  
"I have no idea what you're talking about."  
"Losing the equipment or bringing it back in pieces." Q was busy making a new code for the security system for MI6. He was the only one really capable of making an ‘unbreakable code’.  
"You said you really liked that one so I took care not losing it. Or breaking it." He really shouldn't say thing like that so careless, as if it was only natural. He really shouldn't.  
"Ah. Right." He handed over the new case and turned to the big screen behind him to hide his blush. What was he doing? He wasn't a high schooler. He was an adult. He shouldn't be blushing like a schoolgirl about stupid little things like that.  
Bond had opened the case. "Do you like this one as well?" It was a small but efficient gun, perfectly to hide for when Bond was going to be frisked. And of course an earpiece, as usual.  
"Not as much as the other one. What doesn't mean you don't have to bring this one back."  
Q turned around to see Bond smiling.  
His heart skipped a beat at that.  
-~-  
Q really, really, -seriously-shouldn't fall in love with Bond. But somehow he couldn't stop thinking about the wrinkles at the corners of his lips, about his arctic eyes that didn't seem to warm up for anything.  
He really shouldn't be falling in love with Bond. But somehow Q found himself freefalling.  
-~-  
The next time Q saw Bond again he had a still healing black eye and a slight limp. Q did ask about the gun but all the response he got was a smirk.  
Q responded with a sigh, because of course 007 bringing something back in one piece was a one-time deal. "It was a tight cut, this one. Almost didn't have it finished in time. Perfect for the mission in Dubai. There's also a radio for when things go bad." Q gave Bond the 'I'm freaking serious, use it' glare and continued explaining. "Put it somewhere you can't lose it. In your shoe for example."  
Bond gave him a sheepish look in return.  
Q had to suppress the urge to groan. "Please don't tell me you actually lost you shoe."  
"It was only once. Won't happen again." Did he actually sound apologetic? Oh God, he did.  
Once again Q realized how fond he was of him. And how very -seriously- bad that was.  
"You like this one?" He sounded like the agent again and Q was thankful for that.  
Q pursed his lips. "Not particularly, no. What doesn't mean-"  
"-I don't have to bring it back in one piece."  
"If possible, yes. I would like it if my efforts don't get lost in the dessert."  
Bond closed the case frowning as if he was considering for the first time that Q put effort in the equipment he never failed to lose -apart from that one time- which might actually be what he was thinking about. "I'll try to keep it in mind."  
-~-  
"If I didn't know better I'd think that you enjoy losing your equipment." Q didn't even bother to ask about the gun anymore.  
"I did bring the radio back."  
"You probably just forgot you had it on you." Q turned away from his laptop and looked at Blond for the first time since he entered the room. He really had seen better days. "How's the shoulder doing? Miss Moneypenny said it was dislocated."  
His shoulder tensed at that. "It's fine. So, what do you have for me this time?"  
"Right. I'm afraid it couldn’t fit in a little case this time." Q pulled out a rather large case and laid it onto the desk. "Since you'll be playing assassin this time-"  
"When don't I?"  
Q squeezed his eyed. "[i]Anyway[/i], I thought a riffle would be more of use instead of a handgun. Also, the scope has a warmth scanner. It isn't perfect yet but it should do."  
"No headset? Aren't you going to guide me trough it?"  
"I thought you didn't like me 'talking into your ear non-stop'?"  
His eyes caught Q's a little longer then necessary. "I don't." He took the rather big case and left.  
Q ended up sending a microphone to the airport anyway.  
-~-  
"He's in the last room at the end of the hall. Do you see him?"  
"I do. The warmth scanner seems to work perfectly as well."  
Q would be lying if he said he doesn't like hearing that. He would be lying even more if he said he didn’t like Bond flattering him. "Just- Just finish the job." Q could hear the gunshot not much after that.  
"Clear shot."  
"Thank God. Now get out of there. Security is on the move. Use the balcony."  
Bond grunted. "Window's closed."  
"That never stopped you before."  
"I am getting older every day, you know. And I'd like to come home without injuries for once."  
"Then you better hurry. Security's close. Oh for fucks sake, just smash in the window already." Q heard shattered glass and for a while it was silent. "You're safe. Security has gone looking through the rest of the building."  
"So you do swear."  
"Wha-" Q sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Never mind. I'm guiding you out of the building. Where are you exactly?"  
"Hanging of the balcony."  
"The one with the smashed window? Without problems?"  
"The one beneath that one."  
"Right."

**Author's Note:**

> Found. Posted.


End file.
